blog.

Tuesday, 01 September 2009

  • Poem : Tired of Being Hurt


    Hey mista can I have a second of your time, cuz the way you looked at me had me feelin all tingly inside. But boy oh boy, that was way back when. It really sucks that you had to go actin like that. I mean I really thought we coulda been somethin. But shit my bad, I must have thought wrong. While other guys was tryna holla at me, i giggled oooo sorrrrry I got a boy . all f_ckin proud and shit about me and you. When deep inside i don’t even really remember you. honey, its so cute, that little plan you got there, acting for one minute you know me then the next minute you dont say one word to me. Hah nah WHUTEVAH, that’s how you gonna play your game. But trust me, you had my wrapped around ya finger like there was no tomorrow. But all that’s done. No more “hey jus thought id let you kno I miss you”, hah naww baby more of it now is “hey jus thought id let you know, FUCKYOU”. Real talk. I gotta admit though,those late night tears, wakin up with red eyes, hearin your voicemail box more than you, standin up to everyone backin up all your lies; don’t mean shit to me anymore. When it was just me and you, and you whispered “I don’t want you to go”. Or when you told me “remember im still here for you”. Or wait heres a good one, “itll all be okay. Ill talk to you every single day.” I be damned that I actually believed you. Realize that shit boy. Don’t tell me you miss me, don’t tell me you care, dont even fuckin tell me no other girl can compare. because all you’ve done is drugged me with your charm that made me high, had me sittin around callin you, makin me cry. Hahh nah no worries boy. Go ahead and hit up the bitches on myspace cuz all those little girls are madddddd cute. Just remember though you coulda had the realest chick ever with a love thatd keep you satisfied. fuck that, it seems to me that all you do is lie. But you know what baby, its okay. Your sweet talkin, ass savin, hickey givin, love had me feenin was cute while it lasted. Either ma the fuck up, or im outties. Just keep in your mind, I aint gonna chase you, im gonna replace you.

Friday, 21 August 2009

  • so my dad leaves tomorrow.....cool...yeah not really.another 3 months with  my mom. i hope she knows the reason im going to college out of state is because of her. anyhoo swim starts monday. i needa get new goggles. got 3 suits from ingrid. pretty sick. been dealing with trying to figure out what suits would be good for the team cuz we dont want no ugly ass suits again. i got my permit on wednesday. but i have a feeling my parents are doubting that i can drive because ive driven illegaly for so long with out them knowing.im pretty irritated right now with everything. to the idiot who said i was "clingy" ; dont fucking text me 3 days after you said it. are you stupid or what? jeez. anywaysssssssssss frick i needa go run or something. biye !

     

    xo B

Wednesday, 19 August 2009

  • as you can see, i must be pretty pissed off, its been a while since ive been able to write a solid poem. but im so glad i  was able. i mean i dont like getting mad like that, it just....happened. im not gonna go into detail about what happened. its ridiculous, and that kid has it coming to him. getting my permit today. woo. im gonna go.

    xo B

  • Poem: Clingy

    clingy...like an octopus right? tell me shut the fuck up, really kid? how bout you shut the fuck up. who do you think your talkin too? i hope you dont think im one of those stupid little girls your used to. okay? okay. i mean "dont get me wrong i love you talkin to me" doesnt fuckin cut it buddy. because obviously somethings wrong with you, not me. you dont say one word to me for 2 days and now you wanna gimme some baby ass bullshit? oh i wish i was a boy so i could give you a double hit. a me hit you, you hit ground kinda situation.no wonder we stopped talking before. Maybe cuz your used to the kinda girl whos a whore. Who knows ! I mean you never say anything bout your feelings to anyone except your myspace status. Cute ! not. And me flippin out on you? You came at me with that weak ass shit. Stop frontin boy. I didn’t do shit to you. I kinda get the feelin that your in tough shit right now, and I can understand it, but don’t try and gimme all that bullshit. So how bout you take that “im gonna get us a house and ill take care of you” and shove it up your ass. Cuz this girl right here, the one who cares about you, the one who only wants you to be happy, the one who tries to pick you up when your down, who you think texts you 7 times when she doesn’t, the one who is tellin you stupid shit, and who is “getting clingy again bu” is about 2 steps away from walkin out your sorry ass life.

Tuesday, 18 August 2009

Sunday, 16 August 2009

  • helloo cuppycakes. hah sorry. anyhoo, i feel like i havent updated in a while. i think i needa get away from washington for a little. not even kidding. hmm where should i go? OH HOW BOUT BACK TO HAWAII WHERE I BELONG? perf ! im bored, watching Dance Your Ass Off. this shows super sick. so last night, we had huge drama fest [ me, kim, and both our moms. ugh.] hah so i took a little run. need i say it was 1 am. i think i should do that more often. it feels good to run. legs hurt, but ohwell. swim season starts in almost 1 week exactly. i need to get in shape. now. hah i miss my bestfriend, my somewhat boyfriend, and my life back in oahu. got into drama with a friend up here; honestly i dont give a fck. suck my swag chick. i dont care about you. but yah. i needa go paint or something. so ill write tomorrow maybe. no promises. ha

     

    xo B

Tuesday, 11 August 2009

Friday, 07 August 2009

  • wahhh i was bored all day so i took pics of my day. ahaaaaa.






    yum yum yiggay yumyum. haha i miss oahu. im tired. im in what you call  post deep shit. got into some trouble with coming home later 4 days ago. oh well. i dont care. haha. im out.

    xo B

Sunday, 02 August 2009

  • sorry i havent updated or anything lately.
    recently, i got 2 fish. primo&kehai. very cute tetra fish. i preffer them over regular gold fish anytime.i got them i believe on thursday. and something looked weird about kehai, she was chunky. and primo wasnt. well come to find out, today i wake up from a nap, there are 3 baby fish in the tank and kehai is skinny. i was so shocked. i mean how could the pet store sell me a pregnant fish ! but also i was kinda excited. ive never seen that happen before. [ well i didnt really see it, but still] and later on tonight, i see primo acting weird. laying on his side at the bottom of the tank his body wasnt moving but he was still breathing. i put him in a different bowl cuz i looked online and it said it could be he's in shock because kehai had babies. so i let him in there, and things turned worse. about probably 10 minutes after he stopped breathing. so primo's dead. great. kehai is in the tank next to the bowl where primo is floating upside down, and shes just staying there looking at him. i feel so bad. even though ive only had him for 3 days, i frickn cried. i cant believe i cried. so im cleaning out the tank tomorrow to make sure that nothing will go wrong anymore. i named the babies Hustle, Flo, and Kujo

    another thing, my grandparents are here, they leave tomorrow though. thankgod. im getting a little irritable and i hate hate hate when grandma dearest picks and picks at my flaws.

    the month of august is certainly about to become a busy one. i have retake wasl testing on the 11th, drivers ed starts on the 18th, swim starts on the 24th, then school starts on sept.8th. and i needa start working too to save money.

    IN NEED OF :
    - sports physical
    - last hpv shot
    - a new suit
    - new pair of goggles
    - clothes for next year
    - and most recent issue of nylon

    i miss dino. i miss tina. i miss o'ahu in general. i found out i might be goin down in february so im praying that happens.

    long post. oh well. its been a while.

    xo B

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